Could Deion Sanders Be a Big Reason Shedeur Sanders Fell in the Draft?
What would you say if I told you that Deion Sanders might be a big reason his son didn’t get chosen in the first three rounds of the NFL draft? Shedeur Sanders is a better player than many give him credit for, despite his weaknesses. He was the Big 12 Player of the Year. He was in the top three candidates for the Heisman Trophy. Many were shocked he didn’t go in the first round. But something else was at play that few people realize affected this young man’s career.
We watched his dad, Deion Sanders, play and coach football for years. I met him last year and really liked him. He is confident and not afraid to speak his mind. He is a caring father, coach and an outspoken influencer on many issues. Sometimes, however, I think it’s difficult for us parents to distinguish between our intent and our impact.
I wonder if Deion Sanders is partially to blame for this fall. While I am sure it was well-intended, Sanders may have over-functioned. He harshly condemned critics of his son prior to the draft and even blasted Browns quarterback Joe Flacco—when the Browns were one of the teams that most needed a quarterback! (Ironically, Shedeur did get selected in the fourth round by the Browns). Deion's connections with NFL players and coaches were thought to be a massive benefit for Shedeur, but instead have been a hindrance. What’s more, Deion listed the teams he wanted his son to play for and the teams he wouldn't want his son to play for. That had to scare off some teams that didn't give Shedeur a second look.
It’s an illustration of today’s parents and our tendency to intrude into our adult children’s lives. We want to give them an advantage over their peers; we want to instill confidence. But this help often backfires as it did with 23-year-old Shedeur. A QB that many thought was a top 10 prospect got no interest from any NFL team the first 3 days of the draft. If I’m right about this, it’s a sobering reminder to me that parents of young adult children need to learn some lessons.
There are times…
We need to back off instead of intruding.
We need to stay silent instead of speaking up.
We need to trust the process instead of controlling it.
We must recognize that our intent may be different than our impact.
We must set aside our role as supervisor and take on the role of consultant.
22-year-old Baylee Littrell just competed on American Idol. He's the son of Brian Littrell, one of the Backstreet Boys. Baylee loves his dad yet admitted, “Being the son of a famous person has its benefits, but it also can create animosity as well." Baylee said he felt alienated at first while on American Idol because his father was so well-known. “It was hard to make friends, and it was hard for people to understand me because a lot of people had preconceived notions of how I would be,” he said. I met Brian Littrell several years ago and really appreciate who he is. Our family knew Baylee as a child, who was very much at home on a stage. Brian is a caring father who’s worked hard to not let his presence get in the way of his son’s career. But alas, his fame is a factor in how people treat his son. Baylee is now working to find his way on his own merits.
As parents, we’re prone to cash in all our achievements and connections and give them to our kids. But when we over-function we can steal from them. I have two children, both successful young professionals. When I interact with them, I work hard to listen well and not say too much. They both want to make it in their careers without depending on their mom or dad’s success. I want to encourage them but not control their path. I’m a loving father, but not a supervisor. Won’t you join me?
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