What to Do When Parents Intrude Upon Their Gen Zer’s Job
Parents have reached new heights since I began writing about younger generations, some 25 years ago. Millions have moved from “helicopter” to “Apache helicopter” parents. And it doesn’t stop when their child is in college. They’re now inserting themselves into their offspring’s job. I am pretty sure it’s all driven by good intentions, but it’s the adult-child who suffers.
A new study revealed that an astonishing 77 percent of Gen Z job seekers have brought a parent to at least one job interview. And it’s not merely to drive them there, but to attend. The Resume Templates survey of 831 Gen Z workers discovered that in many cases, mom or dad did more than sit in the corner. Nearly half of these Gen Zers said their parents were present during interviews and began answering questions. Others asked them. Twenty-seven percent said their parents even helped negotiate salary or benefits. The report also showed that 63 percent had a parent submit a job application on their behalf. Nearly one in three had a parent write their resume. Forty-eight percent had a parent complete a test assignment for them, and 41 percent had one handle the initial HR call.
The job interview is only the tip of the iceberg.
These are all activities before the young job candidate even got the job. It gets even more stunning. One summary of this study said, “In some cases, mom and dad are still on the clock after their kid gets hired. Fifty-seven percent said they’ve brought a parent into the office to help with work. Eighty-three percent said their parents still pack their lunch. Nearly three-quarters admit their parents help complete assignments.” Months into the job, it doesn’t stop. Forty-five percent of Gen Z employees said their parents still speak to their current managers. Many even request promotions or PTO for their child.
What Can We Do?
You might just be a parent who’s reading this article. Others of you could be the hiring manager, who’s attempting to remain calm and not burn any bridges. Here are some ideas.
Steps Parents Can Take
Check your motives. Why are you driven to be part of your adult child’s job? Be honest. Is it your own insecurities? Do you tend to be a bit controlling? Do you need to feel needed? Is it because you feel they’re not ready to do it on their own? If you said “yes” to any of these, your step should take place at home. Work on your own growth. You must prepare your child for the path, not the path for your child.
Think long-term, not short-term. Attending your child’s interview is a short-term answer. It helps them today but leaves them ill-equipped for tomorrow. Too many of us have focused on protecting instead of preparing our children. Always ask what the right solution is for them in the long run. The further out you can see into the future, the better the decision you make today for your adult child.
Consider the message you send your child. Your intrusion can be emasculating. It can achieve the opposite of what you intend to do. It shaves the mane off the lion. You further deepen the narrative that they are incapable of self-sufficiency. Millions of us have crippled our adult children by overfunctioning. It feels good to us—but it doesn’t feel good to them over time, haunting them with thoughts of inadequacy.
Steps Human Resource Managers Can Take
Speak to the parent offline. Relay that you’re delighted they want to help their child succeed, but remind them that their participation may have an adverse effect. Let them know that many hiring managers will question whether the job candidate is ready for a full-time job if they need help in the interview. Encourage them that stepping back will allow their child to bloom and will increase their job chances.
Speak to the job candidate offline. Either by phone or in person, talk to the candidate alone to explain that their parent’s involvement may hinder their chances at getting the job. Watch how they respond. If they signal a little embarrassment, they likely understand the dilemma. If they communicate in any form that they want their parent involved at this level—show them the door immediately.
Discern what the future may look like if you hire them. Imagine what the future looks like if you hire them. Is your organizational culture ready for continued involvement from the parent? What would the team look like if this Gen Zer joined? The data shows that recruiters described such young candidates as unprepared and unprofessional. It may be less trouble to move on if the hiring process becomes this complicated.
The workplace is evolving, but we must ensure it is evolving in a positive direction. I recall talking to my daughter before she did a big job interview. We were able to discuss what the process feels like for all parties: her as a candidate, the hiring manager and me as a dad. Then, however, I told her I believed in her, and I let her do it. She absolutely crushed the interview, and felt good about it because she did it on her own.
My new book releases this November.
You can pre-order it now ⤵︎
The Future Begins with Z:
Nine Strategies to Lead Generation Z as They Disrupt the Workplace.
Release date: November 4
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