Why the Generation Gap is Real and What to Do to Bridge That Gap
By Tim Elmore
People often ask me why I think we need to understand the different generations that make up the workforce today. Is there really a disparity between them, or are the differences merely about personality or life stage? In other words, isn’t every generation of teenagers basically the same, but just growing up in different times?
There is an element of truth to these assumptions.
Certainly, adolescents in every generation share similar characteristics, their brains are developing and they experience challenges because of this. The greatest difference between populations of youth has to do with the way technology has evolved over the last 60 years. The term “generation gap” was coined by “Look” magazine editor, John Poppy in the 1960s. He noticed there was a substantial divide in politics, tastes, music and virtually everything else between the young and the old — with the “old” including everyone over 30. Does this sound familiar?
Why the Gap?
There are six different generations living in the U.S. today: the Senior Generation, Silent Generation, Baby Boomers, Generation X, Millennials, and Generation Z. From my perspective, generation gaps between them are caused by four big factors:
Rapid changes in culture.
Increased life expectancy.
The mobility of society.
New technologies and media.
One factor that has influenced generation gaps is the accelerating rate of change in society. Two hundred years ago, cultural developments were slow. As a result, two or three generations lived lifestyles that were very similar to each other. However, as social advances took place in the 20th and 21st centuries, the lifestyles of people even one generation apart are measurably different from each other.
Additionally, life spans have increased over the centuries. When someone lives longer, they have a greater chance at being exposed to more people, experiences and new realities. Different paradigms emerge as our minds are experience different realities at different ages. What’s more, as people live longer and babies continue to be born, we now have more generations alive at one time than at any time in modern history.
Another factor that has influenced the generation gap is the increased mobility of society. In earlier generations, society was not very mobile. Most people stayed in the same area or country. There was little contact with people outside of one's general area. Access to information from other cultures was limited. Today, most of us have either traveled to or watched a show about various places around the world.
Further, with the increased advances of technology, people began to be introduced to new information and images. Just think about all of the changes in technology that occurred in the past 20 years. Today, a child may need to explain to an adult how to use technology; they may use different apps on their portable device and connect with peers which give them a totally different life experience than an older generation. A young adult will choose to spend his time on public transportation texting, while an older man may pass the time reading a physical book. It’s just the times we live in.
As I ponder today’s widening generation gap, the chief cause appears to be reduced to a single word: exposure. Life expectancy, travel, media and technology all increased exposure to new information and experiences, which allows for different perspectives. Most of the causes for a “gap”, we can’t do much about nor do we want to. There is one cause, however, that we can influence, and I’d like to reflect on it now.
The generation gap expanded as our screens migrated from public to private.
Our Screens Went From Public to Private
Seventy years ago, there were no screens in the average American home. Families enjoyed radio programs and often listened to broadcasts together. In the 1950s, TVs entered the scene. By 1960, we reached a tipping point with television. According to the World Book Encyclopedia, "By 1960, there were 52 million sets in American homes, which meant a TV in almost nine out of ten households."
Originally, however, TV programs were designed like radios, where the entire family could gather in front of the television set and watch shows together, such as “I Love Lucy” or “The Andy Griffith Show.” By the late 1960s, however, niche marketing began to happen, as shows found specific audiences to target. “Sesame Street” was a show for preschool aged children. “Laugh In” was a prime time show designed for adults who enjoyed satire. “Never Too Young” was a show that aired in1965 as the first soap opera made for a teen audience. You get the idea. Niched programming, however, began to divide adults from kids. In time, media messaging began to inform each demographic differently. While there may have been just one television in the home and everyone knew what each person was watching, the information was segmented. Later, homes began to have multiple television sets, allowing for further segmenting in the family.
Later, when the personal computer was introduced to our homes in the 1990s we became even more segmented. It acted like the television in that there was usually one desktop machine (often in the kitchen) where everyone knew what the others were viewing. This time, however, users could search for content based on their interests. Life became more niched for various generations. Consumption became on-demand.
As the 21st century dawned, life changed even more. Our screens moved from public to private. Instead of one screen shared by everyone, it became the norm for each person to have their own screen--a smart phone, a tablet or a laptop. Today, parents may not even know what their teens are consuming. The content and platforms are in their individual hands and minds.
Portable devices not only allowed for a more personalized experience, they created virtual communities for anyone using them. Social media allows millions of teens, for instance, to create an Instagram account, and perhaps several other “Finsta” accounts, which are fake Instagram personas. Mom and dad often have no idea they exist.
Author and Emory University professor Mark Bauerlein writes that teens now network with each other in unique ways where they can associate with peers exclusively. They have never lived a life so wholly unto themselves. A hundred years ago, a teen might spend as much time with parents, uncles and aunts and other adults as they did with peers. The gap was minimized as time with multiple generations occurred. Today, we experience a great divide in our experience:
Education migrated from a one-room schoolhouse to graded classrooms where students only spend time with their age group, not with multiple age groups.
Media programming, as I mentioned, has evolved into niche markets, usually based on demographic interests, which foster homogenous communities.
Religious communities and churches split up attendees into age groups, so families seldom learn or worship together but in age-targeted audiences.
Consumers now expect content to be customized for them, and don’t want to work as hard at translating concepts for their application. We’ve grown lazy.
Herein lies our need for action steps to bring generations together.
Find ways to group up and put multi-generational events on the calendar.
What if we got intentional about spending time with people unlike us, those from different generations? What if we found a spot on the calendar regularly to serve a need in the community, watch sports games, play cards or game or just have conversations, for the purpose of understanding each generation’s story? While this may feel awkward at first, these regular meetings have become highlights for people who’ve chosen to participate.
When in debate, start by acknowledging where both generations agree.
Before entering a discussion, those from different generations will profit from identifying all the concepts they agree upon, before debating their differences. We may be surprised with how often we share the same goals but just prefer different methods to reach those goals. Note where you’re similar before you spot where you separate. The word “communication” is taken from the Latin root: common. This act fosters getting through.
Explain your temperament and style when you offer feedback.
When interacting, people from different generations can benefit from acknowledging how they typically filter and relay information. What if you said, “Before I reply, it might be helpful to know I usually like to ask a lot of questions about what I just heard. It doesn’t mean I’m against an idea it’s just how I process new information.” This could be a game changer for a person from a different generation who suspects you don’t like them or don’t believe them.
Express the “story you are telling yourself.”
Research psychologist Brene Brown encourages us to use the phrase: “This is the story I am telling myself” when feeling conflict or confusion over a situation. Often we create narratives about ourselves or others that are inaccurate. We overcome these distortions in our heads by candidly admitting them to others. For example, one might reveal, “I feel inadequate right now and the story I’m telling myself is I’m a failure at work.” This enables vulnerable conversation, as the disclosure invites transparency from others.
It has been said, “We often meet someone and think they are different, but people are not inherently different: our differences lie between us, not within us.”